A private good-bye

Johnny and I scattered mom's ashes last week.  I took a day off from work.  He and I took a little road trip to a special location with the intention of scattering the ashes somewhere that meant something to us.  I don't mean to be cagey but it is not exactly clear if it is was technically legal, so I am skipping the details.

It was an overcast day, but I think colors are more vivid when it is overcast so it was good.

We took a walk through a path and found a mindfulness labyrinth. This was symbolic of her journey.  It was lovely.

We scattered some ashes by a peaceful overlook.  You can hear the water and see the river.  This was for her well deserved peace and freedom.

Next I walked down a steep path to a field of flowers.  It was so beautiful.  I sat and scattered some ashes and talked to mom a bit.  It was a quiet moment for me.  Afterward I went back up to the overlook.  Johnny and I sat for a while talking.  

It was sad, and happy, and peaceful.  I am so glad we did this together.

Lastly, we went to a spot that we used to visit as kids and Johnny took a few minutes and scattered the remaining ashes.

This was our good-bye, more than the funeral ever could have been.  This was the right thing for her. She never wanted to be buried.  She didn't want to be in a mausoleum.  It felt right to scatter the ashes, symbolic of her freedom.  She is free from her body, in which she felt weighed down and restrained.  She is free from fear and pain.  She is one with nature, washed into the earth with the rain and blown into the air by the wind.  She is made of stars and has joined them once again.

I wish her peace.
I love her.


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