More pills

Heard back from a doc today...increase the steroids.  Still no definitive decision about increasing the dose of my biologic.  This has been going on since January, through two infusions...I do not feel better.  I have adjusted my expectations and am back to that frustrating place where I haven't woken up to a pain-free swelling-free days in weeks and weeks.  Blargarumph.

Increase the steroids...

I am hungry all the time.

I am scatter brained.

This'll be fun.

It took years for me to get to a place where I wasn't bitter taking my meds every morning, wasn't annoyed and frustrated by my weekly methotrexate injection, wasn't angry about the biologics and their scary potential side effects.  Years.  I am mindful now and focus on positive energy and healing thoughts as I take, inject, and receive the infusion.  It is hard to stay positive in those moments when it isn't helping enough.

I keep telling myself that it'll pass, but more realistically I need to shift my thinking and focus on making the best of how I feel.


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