Last night I had a mini-meltdown.  Nothing serious...what is my purpose? is my small life enough? what is my passion? what do I really care about?  I feel like a fraud!  why am I so lazy? 

In talking to my lovely and patient wife, it became clear that I need to "do" more and introduce more variety into my life.  I don't like routine, as evidenced by the fact that I change my office furniture around 3-4 times a year, get bored with my clothes and jewelry quickly, and have commitment issues when thinking about buying a place.

I started this 40 in 40 partly to document this year, but also...partly to motivate myself and be accountable for making progress on my list.

This morning I woke up and decided I was going to look for art classes at the Museum, research options for meditation classes, and maybe get a fish tank for my office.  What I ended up doing was finding one class at the Museum that I can't do because we're away for the 2nd of the two session class on French Impressionism--because we'll BE IN FRANCE at the time of the class, too bad. Found a mediation class that I am trying to talk myself into. what if I hate it? what if the people are weird? what if I have to make small talk?  Put a mess of stuff in my Amazon cart for the fish business, but didn't commit...


And I was brave.

I had a cleanup haircut tonight with Markus.  He and Chris feature local artists in their salon and he and I have chatted, for years, about me showing.  Well, tonight I asked to get on the schedule.  I have six finished pieces and sketches for 5 additional pieces.  Markus and Chris were so sweet and supportive and... I am going to show this summer!

I am going to get supplies this week/weekend, sketch out the canvases, and get to work.  I am motivated, inspired, and excited.

It pays to be brave, to ask for what you want, and to believe that you can achieve your dreams.


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